Wednesday, October 10, 2012


warning. emotional vomit to follow:
hmmm.  well that was weird.  i usually do a pretty DANG good job of being not only content with my life but loving every second to the fullest.  i recognize that my situation isn't ideal, but i also understand that i don't have to let that change my outlook, personality, or mood.  But it's been a long time since i had a good cry.  i was overdue i guess.  add in 5 nights without sleep and 5 days of CRAZY babies plus some added monthly hormone shifts....ya.  no getting around that.  I was reading both of my sister in law's blogs tonight and they both mentioned at some point how they have the best husbands in the world......and it hit.  i broke down completely.  if i ever had had a husband one tenth as great as my brothers i would be the luckiest woman alive.  i don't know if it was jealousy....or if it was a general frustration that many wives who have it good don't get how good they have it....or if it was loneliness....or maybe it was fear that there aren't any left in the world that are as good as my dad and brothers....maybe self pity....i really don't know what all was exploding inside of me. what i do know is that now it's out, and that's usually the first step.  step two?  get back on that horse.  what am i grateful for....lincoln.  lexi.  eyes that CAN cry. good eyemakeup remover so i won't look like a zombie forever. a heart that can hurt and feel pain...because if it can hurt than one day it can love and feel joy too. brothers that are amazing husbands so their wives never have to hurt like i am. medicine that will help lincoln feel better...AKA sleep. bedtime so mommy has time to decompress. i am so grateful that God created opposition.  i love the happy feelings and good times, but i only know their joy because of the sad moments and hard times.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Sunday

Today I woke up super early....oh wait, I just don't sleep at all. I GOT up super wary and showered and did my makeup flawlessly and straightened my hair with great care. I wore my new clothes!!!! Then I organized all my stuff. Did laundry. Packed a diaper bag. That kinda thing. Then we had French toast for breakfast. Ohhhh yummers.

Then we went to Jordan and mandees ward. Sacrament was interesting. Linc wasn't super stoked about life. After sacrament they both slept for Sunday school. Then I went to RS alone cause Mandee was with sawyer. Luckily try introduce me and said, "this girl is handling 4 month old twins on her own, so if needed, give her a hand." I didn't ask them to say that but was grateful. A lady in front of me immediately turned around and asked for Lexi. :-):-) the rest of the meeting was peachy.

We talked about the parable were te people work all day for a penny an others worked only an hour for a penny and how that fits Ito our lives. It was a good lesson. I really enjoyed it. Those sisters were super sweet.

Then we went out to the farm and I read twilight while babies slept. Then everyone and their dog came over for dinner. Holy crawdad. These people sure can throw a party...and do....like every day. Sunday unlike thanksgiving. Every freaking week. It's ridiculous. Ridiculously amazing. Then we cleaned up and hung out for a bit

Then Lexi, bless her soul ha her first terrible twos fit. She screamed like crazy. So we went back to the school house and she fell asleep on the way. I got mostly ready to go and Jordan and I played cards and ate icecream. :-)

Saturday

I didn't sleep at all Friday night to Saturday. I got a nasty cold. So Saturday was special.

It started out great though. I became a rebel child and didn't wash my hair but took a bath instead which felt awesome! The steamy air was great to clear out my sinuses. Then when ingot out Jordan and Mandee had made crepes!!!! Mmmm mmmm good. So heavenly. I looooove crepes. Then we went out to the farm pretty early. I felt yucky so I took a long nap. :-) and of course played with the babies. Then we went for a walk. Then we went to the farm for another bonfire! So great. Hot dogs and s'mores. Mmmmgoooood.

Friday

Friday Was awesome. Jordan had the day off. So in the morning he did stuff at the school house where they live. Mandee and I went out to the farm in the morning. Shannon and I went to the magrath pool to swim laps. That was great and embarrassing. I am not so good at that anymore....:-( I couldn't do butterfly without swallowing stupi water. Boo.

The day was kinda cloudy and lame which sucks because we were totally planning to go to the lake. When ingot home from swimming the sun came out for like 5 minutes so we decided, QUICK!!!!!!, let's go. We were out on the lake for the 2-3 good hours. It was so great. Don't tell my dad, but I totally got burned. It was such a lame day I didn't think about needing sunscreen but I still got burned. I tried to knee board but wasn't as successful as I would like to have been. I kiiiiiiiinda got up a million times. Meaning I got my knees on the board and went for a while but my knees never got all the way on the board. O well. I think it's cause I list a lot of strength while I was pregnant.

After the boating trip we went home and had yummy dinner. Jordan made potatoes and ham and cheese.

Now comes my favorite part. :-) an amazing storm came...I'm talking clouds that had to be Gods finest work, colors he barely invented, lighting everywhere, thunder rolling deep and loud...wind, rain....it was incredible. The kinda storm my mom would have died for. so what did we do!? Jordan and I took a blanket out on the lawn and watched the heebiejeebies outta that storm. Soooo good. :-)

Then we came in and had our nightly icecream while playing a card game we invented. It's a pretty bomb game. come play with me sometime.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Thursday

This morning Mandee asked if I wanted to go to let's ridge with her and soy-baby. Ummmm. Yes. Yes I did. So we went and ran a few errands. And while we were at the superstore I found the best thing ever.

No really.

When I was 16 I went to Scotland with my drama group and while I was there I pretty much lived on this certain candy bar. I couldn't remember the name and hadn't ever seen it in the states. It was in an orange ish package and was chocolate and hazelnut. It had a name in a different language and was literally heaven in candy form.

I have been looking for that candy ever since and guess what. I found it by mistake today. I for sure bought All the store had. :-) I am so giddy.

Also mandees parents had a bunch of free personal pan pizza coupons so we got pizza while we were out.

Then we came back to the farm and hung out. Mandee made dinner while I played with babies. She made chicken BBQ pizza. A-freaking-MAZING!!!!!! Dexter and maren(sp) came over too. It was great. Then we all wet across the pond to hangout and gramma and grandpa cooks. Those are the best nights. Jus hanging out and talking. I love it.

Canada adventure begins.

Sooooo babies and I are going to Canada by train. Our train was scheduled to depart at 8:57. It is now 2:28 and we have yet to see a train. We have however ridden a bus to spokane. And now we get to wait here till 430. It's so loud that both babies are awake. And I may or may not have not slept last night in favor of texting boys instead. Poor planning on my part. So in the last 24 hours I have had 4 hours of sleep. The train station is gross. No sleeping here plus someone could kidnap my babies. Soooo we are up. Stickin it to the man. Go team Dana and LX2!

Wednesday

Wednesday was an interesting day. I was super emotional. I HATE being a girl sometimes. Usually about once a month, come to think of it.

We came out to the farm and rode horses early. That part was pretty great. I really did enjoy that. Some people rode quads. It seems than here you ride quads all the time. I've never seen people on quads so often. It's super fun.

Then we came inside and hung out with my good friend, the Internet. That was pretty great. We had tacos for lunch. They were pretty dang good. Then Jordan came home early. We tried to decide what to do and couldn't think of a thing. Eventually Jordan and I took the babies on a bike ride. That was pretty fun. Lexi screamed the whole time. Guess who slept well that night?;)

Then we went back to the farm and home. We had chicken Alfredo leftovers for dinner. It was a supppppper chill night. I played with babies and laid around most of the night. Jordan and Mandee went on a walk while I bathed the babies and put them down. I was gonna go on a walk and call mom but then ended up staying there and talking with Jordan and Mandee for a bit. Then Jordan and I checked the icecream he had made. Which of course turned into eating it. Yuuuuum. And playing games. And talking about life. Then mom called and we laughed and talked for forever. It really was a pretty great night. Ohhhhh and then I read twilight before going to bed. :-) and I smiled the whole time.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Canada


Okey dokie.... So here I am in Canada. It had been so wonderful so far. I got here on Tuesday at around 6. Jordan had made pizza for us. It was so good. I was pretty starved. Mandee went to a wedding shower and Jordan and I went on a walk with the babies and sawyer. It was pretty fun. He showed me the house that he did the siding on. He did a great job. He also showed me the train station that Jen and Tim made into a beautiful house. The baseball/softball field and even the ice arena. Ya. That's how you know you're in Canada. The school has an ice arena. Crazy, eh?

THen we went home and put the babies to bed and Jordan tried to teach me how to play cribbage while we ate ice-cream. He thing about that game is that you have to be able to count. And I hadn't slept much in the 2 days before so I wasnt doing so hot. But the icecream was super.

Then came Wednesday. Jordan had to work. Mandee and I went to her parents house to watch my babies, her babies, and her nephews while the adults went to the temple. Her cousins came over to help. It was really fun. I got to know Kinzee a little better which I really enjoyed. Last time I met her she was really super quiet. She is so sweet and so good with kids. While we were there we went to swim lessons with and for Syler. He has a phobia of getting his hair and face wet. For the first time ever he dunked his hair and face in the water. It was pretty awesome. He was crying so hard but he cried even harder when we tried to make him leave. He was so determined to do it even though it was scary for him. What a cool kid.

Then we went home and got ready to go to the lake. :-):-);-);-);-);-):-):-):-) ummmm yes. This was very very very very good. I really love going boating. Dahlin and Biz took me and the babies and their kids and Chance and Kinzee and Kaytie out on the boat. Holy shishkabobs!!!!!! Dahlin is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! He is so fast! It was awesome to watch. Chance was pretty good too and biz did pretty well also. Kaytie didn't get up, Kinzee didn't go and I tried for like 45 minutes to get up and still just couldn't. But no fears. I have a week and half to keep trying. I got a video of Jordan. He has gotten pretty good too. I was very impressed with him.


Next comes Thursday!!! Oh blessed Thursday. We woke up early and left for the cabin. We dropped off the food and made sure it was ready for my family. It looked great. We tried to fix their tent trailer. Not much luck there. Don't ask Jordan about it. It's kinda a sore subject. ;) then we grabbed lunch at Dave's drive in. That was delish!!!! Then we headed to kalispel in the states to meet up with my parents. We met at Costco. Then we went swimming. That was fun. Mom stayed in with the twins because they were ready to be done! Sawyer liked the water ALOT less than I thought he would. He spent most of the whole time walking the edge of the pool staying as far from it as possible. It was so nice to just sit out in the sun and enjoy the warm day. Then we went out to eat and I got fajitas!!!! What is it about that food that makes me love it always????? Soooo good. Then we went home and talked in mom and dads hotel room. We put the kids to bed and then went ourselves. After we went to bed mom and dad went to the airport to get Amelia. Jon's flight was stinky and delayed. Lame sauce.

Friday morning we got up and packed and got ready and had breakfast and then went shopping. I got some suuuuuper cute stuff. New heels!!!!! And a fabulous new flowy skirt and some shirts. While we shopped the parents and melli went to get jon from the airport.Then we went to lunch. Everyone else went to huhots which is Mongolian and Mandee and I went to bajio. Yummmmy.

My favorite part so far of the whole trip has been the drive back with Mandee from the train station. I have really enjoyed getting to know her better. She is so much fun and so interesting. We are so different, but I really am enjoying seeing why made Jordan think she is so special. I am pretty lucky. I have some great sister in laws. When I was with Brian I felt like I never could get to know them, but now I am getting that chance and I love it. I adore my family and spending time with them is so wonderful.

Softball and Tuesday

Last night we went to softball. That rocked. I got to play for a bit as a sub because they were down a girl. I really wasnt any good but man alive i had fun.....until....Ummmmm I may or may not have been hit in the face.... Don't worry though....my lip looks just as cute super fat as it does normal sized. Then after softball we went to the farm for hamburgers. Yummmmmilicious!


Today was sooooo chill. I LOVED it. We slept in till 930. Then I got up and showered. We had waffles. Mandee and I and the babies and sawyer went on a walk to the park. Wow. It was such an awesome park. Made me wish my babies were bigger and would enjoy it more. Then we went to the small grocery store In town. We needed bananas something fierce. :-) and butter, but I wasn't stressed about that. Then we came back to the house and Mandee played with sawyer and I played with my babies for a bit. Then we went out to the farm. Linc was asleep so I held and fed Lexi while goofing off on the AMAZING INTERNET!!!! I missed it so much. Then she fell asleep and linc woke up so I traded them. Then they both woke up so I brought their car seats over by me and sat them in them and fed them both. This whole time Mandee and sawyer were napping. It was super relaxing and chill I really enjoyed myself. Then mandees mom and her came out and we talked for a while.

Then we came back to the house and made fajitas with Jord. Yuuuuuumy. He is such a good cook. I loooove eating his food a little too much. Then I played with the babies again for a while and we went back out to the farm for a bonfire!!!!! You know what that means!!!! Family and s'mores. Does life get better!? I submit that it does not!!!!!

Ummmmm then I came back here and I started reading twilight again. Why? Because one a guy im rather fond of HATES the series and fights venomously against it. His passion for hating it made me remember it and want to read it again. I guess there are several reasons for this. 1)I am on vacation and one should read while on vacation. 2)I like the books. So sue me. 3)my iPhone didn't actually sink right so I have no music or the books on tape I was gonna listen to on the way home. So I remembered I had the twilight books on here and didn't even need Internet for them. 4)and most importantly... When I was married to Brian I spent soooooo much time not doing what I wanted because it was what he wanted. He had so many strong opinions and I was so easy going that I ended up giving up apart everything I care about because he disliked it all. I'm never giving up who I am again for anyone. So I guess me reading twilight is kinda my way of saying I will be me, take it or leave it.

And now I'm off to bed. What a great easy day!!! Horses tomorrow and maybe the lake?!!!!! Weather behave!!!!!


Camping

UGGGG this is the most stupid thing ever.  i hate blogging.  i'm only doing it for mandee's sake.  i had a whole three paragraphs done about glacier and they are now GONE.  blah! i'm not retyping it.  just know that we went to glacier and had a freaking blast.



After glacier we went to the cabin. That night we had smokies for dinner. THey were pretty delish!!!!! And fattening. Apparently one Smoky has like 20 grams of fat. Iiiiicky. But soooo gooooood. We also had smores. Oh s'mores. They are my favorite. Especially how they are done in Canada. Jordan makes a hole in the middle of the mallow them puts a caramilk in the middle. Good yummy chocolate mixed with yummy Carmel. Ohhhhhh then he takes the mix and roasts he whole thing. Then between the yummy grams. Canada does grams right too. They come smite size. None of this breaking the gram cracker crap. It's ready to go. we stayed up let talking and enjoying the fire and each others company.

Then we all went to bed. The next morning we all decided to go to glacier national park. We saw this awwwwwesome whitewater rapid. Sooooo cool. Pretty sure you'd die if you went down that one though. I got some pictures of some of us there. I like poopy in some pics though.

Then as we were driving we saw a moose!!!! A big old bull. I tried to get a picture but I only saw it for a few seconds. But all the stupid people were out of their cars. Mandee informed me that they were idiotic. Apparently moose are super dangerous.

We saw some beautiful sights. We took some awesome hikes. We just barely missed bears mating. :-( ironically that was at the "bear hump" hike...haha.

We had sandwiches for lunch.

Then we went back to the cabin. We were planning to shoot and ride horses but just as we got the horses saddled it down poured. I've hardly ever seen it rain like that. It was ridiculous!!!! So the saddles got soaked and we didn't get to ride. Instead we went inside and sang while Jordan played guitar. We had Steak for dinner. Jordan can cook a meeeeean steak. I've never tasted any steak I like better than ones he has made. He has some serious skill. That night we all talked again and enjoyed being together, while missing spencer.

In the morning Jordan rigged up a redneck shower and bath. They hada huuuuuge barrel that they put over the fire with creek water in it. Then they syphoned the water into a huge tub. They used the same hot water to fill these solar bag showers which Jordan then hung up a tree. He surrounded it with a tarp and put a sled on the ground under it so you weren't standing in dirt. It was pretty clever. Then we all got ready for church and headed out.

WAIT!!!!!!! Breakfast was really good Sunday. We had breakfast hash. Smokies, potatoes, peppers, eggs, onions.... All mixed together on tortillas. Man. They live the good life.

Ok. Now we went to church. My babies were fussy, sawyer got sick. Good times eh? So we went back to the cabin and cleaned everything up and packed up then we left. When we got home we played games until we took Sayers temperature. 102!!!!!!!crazy kid. But we miscalculated at first since Canadians use Celsius not Fahrenheit. We thought it was 103.5. Ahhhhh. So scary. So we sponge bathed him and gave him a cold bottle and Tylenol and a blessing. By 1 am his fever had broken. Scaaaary. During all this we had tried to put my twins down but they decided they didn't want to miss the party. They stayed up forever and every time they would fall asleep when we would set them down they would wake up again. They were up most of the night. CraZy kids.

So this morning Jon and melli and mom and dad showered and packed up. They left around 11. Jordan went to work before they left so he said his goodbyes last night.

Mandee made bread this morning. Ahhhhhhhhh amazing. She is an angel with the baking. my babies both were asleep around 1130 so I finished up dishes and took a nap. I ended up sleeping with them from 1130-230. Wow. We were all pretty exhausted. While we ere asleep Mandee and sawyer went out to the farm, which is her parents house. They got back shortly after I woke up.

Mandee is taking sawyer to the doctor now. And I remembered that I have all the twilight books on my iPad!!!! Score!!!! So I'm going to read them while I'm here in the spare time and on the trim on the way back. To be honest it is kinda to tease my friend Trevor. He is one of THOSE that's completely against twilight. ;)

Later today they are playing a double header in softball. Twins and I will go watch, then we are going for hamburgers out at the farm. Should be a great day.